Totem Animals

I've been watching a lot of youtube videos lately and last night I discovered CharmingPixieFlora and one of her videos caught my attention; finding your totem animal;

And since I've been practising meditation a lot lately I decided to give it a go and find my totem animal. I actually found it really easy to relax and meditate. I've never thought a drum could allow me that. I always imagined it would distract me but it was just perfect. Here is my squibbed note afterwards;

Did you see the part about a Hedgehog? First, please excuse all typos and spelling errors. I'm too concerned with getting the information down before I forget. Well it had me thinking all night and the next morning I was kinda feeling that I'd denied the Hedgehog. Out of the 3 animals only the hedgehog was spontaneous (I had been thinking of owls and panthers a lot lately). At the time I did struggle to move past the hedgehog and I think it was because I wasn't prepared for it to be a hedgehog (how many time can I say hedgehog :). So I tried again this morning and again the hedgehog was the first animal I came across, I asked him again and this time he kinda smiled and scurried off. I followed and found him sitting playing with a panther cub and the owl was standing aloft seemingly watching them. So again 3 animals appeared to me, the same 3 animals.

Is this some indication that I'm confused? What does this mean?

After a little pondering I looked up a hedgehog totem and wow, after the last few weeks it makes so much sense. How could I have dismissed it the first time? I kind of feel awed to be honest.

Hedgehog's Message and Medicine

I need to research totem animals better because I don't really understand that much about them. Will I always have a hedgehog as my totem? Can you have more than 1 at any one time?

Answers to these questions I need to find :)

Cuteness 

Back to Basics; Meditation

I've been casting a circle every wednesday (although it isn't the best day for some of the things I want to do) since the beginning of January and it's going okay. It's Wednesday because its the only free time I'm getting at the moment I've settled on my wording and the setting up of my altar. However, last week I decided that I really should be starting at the basics; Meditation and Visualisation. They seem to be the corner stone of spell-crafting and circle casting, so I really need to be practising, and so that is what I've been doing.

I've been running a bath every evening, adding a herb blend for purification (I had no muslim so I had to put the herbs in a bath glove and tied the end! Haha Wicca on a shoestring :) and a little essential oil (Juniper). I light my candles and put on my native american music (The World in Our Eyes by J.Reuben Silverbird) which I've decided is my meditate CD because knowing me I'll find it easier to slip into meditation mode if I stick to the same music.

So relaxing. I do the usual relaxation methods (tensing body parts then releasing them etc) then once my mind and body feels peaceful I . The first time I kept trying to concentrate on the candle, then I would close my eyes keeping the candle in my third eye. I really suck! I can do it for a few minutes before my thoughts zoom off 100 miles an hour. I persevering though and I can feel the time getting longer each attempt.

The other night, after a few concentration attempts, I managed to relax and I let my mind take me where ever it wanted to go.

I was at a waterfall in a small clearing. I was stood watching an old native american play a flute. At my shoulder was a small owl and at my feet was a panther. I think it was the music putting images in my head but I went with it. I didn't do anything, nor did the guy. I was just stood there watching.

What struck me afterwards was that I kept the scene in my mind for around 10 minutes. Maybe the music helped, or maybe I can do it longer but I'm just trying too hard :/ or it wasn't that long it just felt it. I don't know. All I can do is keep practising :)

Thank Goodness For That

For the last month or so I have felt surrounded by negativity. Some days I was returning home from work feeling drenched in the stuff. I made myself numerous protection amulets, took cleansing and protection baths and crafted spells all to protect myself from this shroud of negativity. Well, finally it feels over. I haven't mentioned it because I didn't want to put a voice to it if that makes sense. I felt that if I spoke of it I would increase its hold on me or something. I think it may have even extended to my family as we've experienced some bad times these last few month and both of my elder boys were physically attacked in the street on two different occasions, and the atmosphere in our home has been strained to say the least.

This Friday however, was the first evening I didn't feel the need for a cleansing bath. It's like a weight had been lifted. I'm still going to wear/carry on my person my protection amulets for a little while longer (after re-cleansing and re-charging it of course), just in case this is just a lull. But it does feel finished and for that I am thankful. I'm also curious as to why this happened? It stalled my learning as I was having to concentrate on protecting myself rather than the basics that I should have been learning. I was crafting spells I didn't feel ready to craft. However, looking at it positively, I now feel a little empowered and I now know that I can protected myself if necessary, which I figured isn't a bad thing.

My Eyes Only

My Goddess candle. Simple yet elegant.  

Hidden in plain sight

I bought some small yankee candles yesterday in the elemental colours (I'm starting to feel a real connection with the elements). My intention is to refill them once the original candle has finished with my own crafted ones, I just didn't know where to get the empty jars from. They sit on the right hand side of my hearth in their correct positions. I light the candle that is associated with the current season; in this case green for Earth/winter. On the left of my hearth sits a large white Goddess candle on a simple yet lovely white stand. I'll add a photo of it once I've charged up my phone :). I love that I can do this and only I know that it's my Goddess and Element shrine hidden in plain sight. I plan to add a black candle for God once I find a similar black stand.

Jewellery

My magikal jewellery. Top left is my copper and brass Triple Goddess bangle. Bottom left is my amethyst (my birthstone) pentacle and on the right is my long white-agate necklace. These three pieces are for spell-crafting and rituals only. They make me feel maigikal, protected and closer to my Goddess.

During my normal day I wear my Isis necklace and if I'm in work, I also wear my Native American arrowhead chocker (photo's to come).

On a side note (but really it needs it's own post), I performed a self-dedication ritual this morning :) I'm so happy. More details to follow.

Bless be
)O(

Pre Christmas Ramble: late post is late

This post is a little late but if I don't post it now I never will.

Yes I'm Wiccan and I celebrate Christmas.

Even though I was brought up to celebrate Christmas neither of my parents are religious. In fact they haven't a religious bone in their bodies. Christmas was, for us, a time to celebrate 'family' and to receive presents. School would put on the Christian Nativity and we'd all coo over the 4 year old Mary and Joseph (or be jealous that we were only the inn keeper :)). Christianity was always in the background even if it wasn't shoved down my throat constantly. I remember in Junior school there was a girl who didn't celebrate christmas (she was a jahovo witness) and I remember that we were all concerned that she didn't get any Christmas presents. What stuck in my mind though (I'm actually surprised I remember this tbh) was that she wasn't bothered because she said she got presents throughout the year instead. I remember liking this. I also remember that she used to bring in real snake skin that her snake had shredded. So she always seemed different to us. I think it must have been explained to us at the time in more detail but I don't recall.

It wasn't until high school that we were taught about other religions but I didn't really have an interest. RE (religious Education) was 40 minutes of kids messing around and colouring in jesus with a cross colouring sheets. It wasn't until around 17 that I started to be interested in spirituality. I'd try out a couple of religions hoping I'd feel a connection or something but I never did until I stumbled upon Wicca (I don't remember how that even happened). I've always celebrated the Christian holidays; Christmas, easter, etc. However I actually remember celebrating Mayday in junior school but that was early 80's. I don't know how or why it stopped being celebrated.

This year we celebrated Christmas but I also set up my Yule alter both in my bedroom and the sitting room (kinda disguised as I'm lodged firmly in the closet), performed a simple Yule ritual and spent a lot of time thinking about the Goddess and Wicca and what they mean to me. It felt good to celebrate my religion. Being my first year I didn't get to do some of the things I wanted
to do but I have good ideas for next year. I'm going to get crafty :)