Saturday 28 April 2012

Ketchup



Wow it feels like I haven't been around for quite some time and I guess it's true.

I've had a lot going on these last few months what with my granddads illness and death, and dealing with the funeral and various illnesses after to being run down because of the stress. Then to top it off just as I thought I could begin to get back to normal my middle lad started cutting again, so I've been helping him through that. I've also been holed up like a hermit, which I'm prone to do during the winter months but which has also crept into spring.

To combat this and to try and get out of my slump I've been into town today and picked up a new chain for my mountain bike so I can get that fixed and get out on it. I've missed riding. I feel so free flying down a mountain... Obviously its kinda different riding up! But the whole experience frees my mind from the mundane trappings that make up my life.

Although I've not been around Pagan/Wiccan community much I have been around the interwebs. Mainly on YouTube, jeez that place eats up time like no other. But I've enjoyed the distraction. And I think that’s why I was on there so much… trying to forget all the crap clogging up my mind. 

I've also been reading up on Tameran Wicca a lot and it's definitely calling to me. I began looking into Kemetic orthodox and Egyptian reconstruction but I knew instantly that wasn't the right path for me. There is no way I'd ever give up Wicca. I am Wiccan through and through, but I do, and have been, leaning heavy toward the Egyptian pantheon so Tameran Wicca seems the perfect path for me at present. I still consider myself eclectic however, because I still have a love for some of the Greek Gods and Goddesses, and basically because it’s too early in my path to commit solely one path.

I’ve been slowly coming out of the Closet... Well some might call it creeping but it boils down to the same thing really; my beliefs aren't super-secret anymore and it's all to do with privacy, and the fact I have none. The fact I was securely in the closet wasn't because I’m ashamed about my spiritual beliefs jsyk, but rather that I want to be judged for me and not for someone's prejudices. That and the fact I'm a very private person but that’s another story. I finally realised when my youngest told me I had a parcel. A very big parcel! (I may or may not be slightly exaggerating) and asked if it was anything to do with my ‘witchcraft’ stuff. So yeah I guess I’m kinda out of the closet. I've not been a super sleuth or anything, quite the opposite actually. Certain people are getting the hump and not talking to me, or even better blatantly ignoring it. But to be honest I've started not to care rightly or wrongly. Someone once asked me if my partner was travelling the path with me, and whether he was supportive. Well long and short, no he is not. The question played on my mind a bit; I think it must have been bugging me somewhere in my sub-conscious because I started to leave books, incense, crystals, etc. around the place. Not in your face, but you know, here and there and obviously the kids have picked up on this. It’s being ignore by my boyfriend at the moment (aside from the odd negative comment) but I’m just ignoring that… actually I might even burn some incense in the living room lol I Can’t help but push now.

So yeah, that’s what’s new with me. I hope you all are having a great day. Blessed be beautiful people

I'll leave you with a video of a band that I have been enjoying lately and who have helped me over the last few months...


3 comments:

  1. I hope all gets better for ya girlie and congrats on "coming out". I look forward to reading more about your journey! Muwah!

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  2. Thanks B :) I haven't really come out as such... just way more blatant about it. I think the next step would be to actually talk about it to them. Maybe some day :)

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  3. Wow people avoiding or shunning you because of starting to learn of your beliefs is something that has always boggled me. I'm that semi out, if you ask I'll probably tell you. But just you said I'm a private person and it isn't relevant than a person isn't likely to ever know, it isn't their business really. I also don't want to be judged off of possible misconceptions.

    It's definitely awkward and close family has to be broached at some point. Good luck with it. :)

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